Final good bye to Mr. Assumptions

We all have wonderful days of convincing ourselves that we should have hope and assume that things will work out between two people. I was one of those people, who believed this thought, in my world. Believing that the stars had aligned and lightening had struck all that the same time, placing him in front of me. There he stood the one person that embodied what I wanted or had assumed would finally understand and fill in the gaps that I was missing.

Without him even realizing it, I projected all of my hopes, wishes and assumptions of what I wanted/expected from myself onto him. Projection can be a dangerous thing, especially when you do it to fulfill your own objectives.

Realization had to hit me at some point; his perfection was solely based on my deflection of reality. I assumed he could be what I wanted him to be, assumed that he would want to be what I wanted. Finally, I had hoped that eventually the “realistic” hope I had created for what could be led me to a dead end, standing and wondering how all of my assumptions were just that, assumptions.

I should thank Mr. Assumptions; he made me realize a lot about myself, that hope is just that, hope. Nothing I project or assume can come to fruition if they are only based on silent hope and assumptions. It is hard to say good bye to something you never thought you would, but its time. With time comes a realization, that although your heart can be filled and fooled by the projected love and affection, something we all think we want, I learned a lot over the years.

My silent hopes will stay silent, only my dreams for him will be heard… because at the end of this phase comes peace knowing I am a better person because he walked in to my life and took a seat.