Reversing the Clock

Everyone always says time flys when you are having fun; they were right. It is unbelievable how time can be so elusive, even when you try and keep up.

The year, like most days, and moments in life has been filled with many different experiences that have affected me and forced me to learn things that I thought I already knew.


My Realizations

Death. My family was deeply affected by death again this year. Some sudden, some over time, all of them finally finding path to eternal peace. Although it was extremely difficult to lose another grand parent, great aunts and uncles, I realized they were all here to teach each of us something. I know for me, no one died in vain; they all forced me to realize a lot about myself and reminded me of a simple fact. Life is a clock that is ticking away, eventually the clock stops. I should ensure that I leave a legacy that I can be proud of, because death isn’t something you can control.

Support. You realize who cares about you when you face the difficulties day after day. The person that takes a moment to send you a note to see if you are ok, the call or text in the middle of the day, the moments spent talking over coffee in the car as the rain pours down. Not everyone is capable or able to be supportive and are not able to be present in the moment. Some individuals are just NOT meant to be supportive. I realized a few diamonds in the rough this year that kept me on the right track.

Risk. I took a few risks that the ‘old’ me would have never taken. I realized that my desires and hopes are important and refuse to hide behind fear. I took another chance in the game of chess that we all play day to day and got one step closer to my goal. Simultaneously, I faced rejection in the face; realizing words are meant to be spoken and have no real meaning or affect until they leave your mouth. No regrets for chasing what I want.

Value. I was forced to assess my own value and self-worth. Expecting that others valued me, learning that they didn’t was a difficult pill to swallow. But I realized that each person’s value propositions are different and I need to accept the value they place on me and our relationships. I can’t control others value, only my own and those that I care about.

Happiness. You are the only person that can control what makes you happy and what makes sad. Learning to accept the sadness and finding the pure sweet moments in the moments of destruction will force you to see side of situation you will never see. Accepting that happiness will come and sadness will follow will allow you to live life and really exist.

Each of have moments that affect us and shape us, I have had so many this year. They have forever changed who I am and where I chose to take my life from here. I am thankful for every moment good, bad and ugly.

Remember, love while you are here, don’t let your clock run out.

The Reality

I know many women, including myself that have gone through this pattern.

Click on the comic to view as a larger image.

(Comic: xkcd comics)

A Pause for a Commercial Break!

Have you ever felt like some pressed pause, causing everything in your life to simply stand still?

Like everything you do, from carrying out your daily activities, to sleeping at night has been halted. In turn, causing a lengthy intense introspective moment.


Someone is watching, and is now forcing you to reevaluate who you are. Simply because the person you had become was leading to our own personal detriment. The person that allowed herself to fall into situations her gut told her to avoid. You have become the person that became a slave to giving the expected answer, to the individual on a quest for a solution. Deviating from the person who once vowed always to speak the truth as she saw for those who asked for it.



The power that be must have realized that she had lost herself on a quest that wasn't her, but one she had to go on. This new path will lead her great things, if she allows it. Perhaps the forced evaluation must be completed before a new chapter is created.



Take time to understand why you are who you are, you will be better for it.

Circumstances

You never really realize the importance of the circumstances you face.

The dictionary defines circumstance as a condition that accompanies or influences some event or activity.

We face countless moments where your circumstance determine your actions. I would hope that we all make sound decisions, but often we us our personal/professional circumstances to hide behind our actions.

Chose to see the positive and make decisions that will help you and those around you. Don't get trapped in a cyclical pattern where your life is filled with excuses. Which in turn will keep you from being unhappy.

Each of us face circumstance which will help you grow. Treat it as a blessing of sorts. Many of us would never learn about our surroundings or ourselves if not for these moments of frustration. 

You chose your actions, make them count.

(Image: Getty Images)

The Paradox

I was reading this blog today, which lead to this flow of words.

When you were a little kid, and now as an adult, we all in our hearts of hearts are concerned about how we are perceived. But there are a few people out there who will claim otherwise.

Consider the message I am putting forth and if they still claim otherwise then perhaps they truly are not being true to themselves.

In order to succeed, I need to please our boss.

In order to be loved I need to please our friends and family.

In order to enjoy your own existence on this earth you, in some capacity, need to please yourself.

Each of these moments in time are reflective of the person that you are.

If you choose to be the negative person and live your life as someone that will always claim not to have success perhaps you should consider the measure of your success. Once you consider that, then ask yourself – am I happy?

But if you are the person that chooses the to find the silver lining in moments that probably would otherwise be negative. Realize that you are pleased with your contribution.

When you wake up in the morning you have to look in the mirror and face your own demons, no one can face them for you. Take the commentary and constructive criticisms your friends and families provide you with grain of salt.

After all, you are the boss of you and can please only yourself.

Presence

As you wake up every morning, and as you rush through your morning, you simultaneously list off your list of 'to dos' for the day. Regardless of the time of the year we all have become accustomed to rushing through our day. When was the last time you honest enjoyed a moment? Many of us don't even know what this even feels like.

I realized this as I sat in my car waiting for some friends for dinner to show up. I watched couples leave the restaurant and say their good-byes as if this was the last time they would see on another. They looked into one anothers eyes and gave each other a meaningful hug. This was the case for everyone,  one couple after another. I don't know if I ever really noticed the sweet pureness of moments like this. Two people treasuring a moment where they both connect for one last time.

The simple hugs, conversations or moment spent gazing at the night sky allow us to be present - only if we want to be. Next time you have a moment give it a try and enrich your heart.

The Bridge

When you stand in the middle, looking ahead; you can’t help but look back.

Everything you learned and experienced is behind you and everything you want to learn and experience is in front of you.

Acceptance of what is and what could be is what will help you evolve and be present in the moment.

Confession

I have a confession. As a professional that prides herself in explaining the benefits of communication to others, I don't like communicating my confessions.

We all have things we want to say in the course of a day, something I participate in regularly. But I have hit a communications wall. My ability to determine the strength and weakness of each piece I write is easy for me to determine.

But what do you do when the piece you write could alter your world as you know it? Do you blindfold yourself and pull the trigger because you think that it will help you solve the problem? Or do you apply the rules of the world and weigh out your options and the eventual road blocks you may face and could force others to face?

We live our lives learning, from a young age, that the truth should guide you. But no one ever explained what to do when you realize the truth could cause you and those involved pain.

My confession: I refuse to speak my mind if it will cause those I love and cherish pain.

A Realization

Never under estimate anything around you. Never assume that time will stand still.

We all live very hectic lives that often cause us to ignore the reality that is happening around us. But it is that "busy" existence that can be disrupted in a split second by natural disasters, death or heart break.

It is essential to realize:

• those that love you will only put up with it for so long.
• you may be neglecting those that care about you most.
• you may lose out on them
  

Don't take the few moments we have for granted and find a means to stay connect before you lose you chance.

The words we speak

How are you affected by words? Not many take the time to think about how simple words can shape your thoughts and perspectives.

The words of a well spoken man, that many thought never would have a chance to become president convinced the American people of his ability with the simple words, "yes we can" .


The words of a man changed the way a society has understood a people by including them in what he view as an "axis of evil".


The words of a young girl with nothing but a pen and her not book changed how a society today understand the holocaust.

The words of a man, who sat and explained how I would be able to make it out of the ESL I once sat in changed the way I felt about education.


The power and strength of the words we speak, we write and illustrate is immeasurable. Understanding that a simple hello, thank you and your welcome can set the tone for the you communicate with.

We all have power but not all of know how to use it or control the impact.

Adapting to your function

As children we are all taught right from wrong and what our parents deem as acceptable behaviour. So who determines what is acceptable when you become a card carrying adult?

Each of us inherently adapt to our surroundings and pick and choose what we feel is acceptable for us. But how does your adaptive behaviour effect others? Realizing that you impact your surroundings you should realize you can affect others.

Some may argue you determine your function in the lives of others and your level of involvement. Others can argue that those you interact with determine your function letting you in only when they feel it is necessary, when they need something or when they want something.

Regardless of what or who determines your function, you need to ensure all you do when you adapt stays true to who you are.

The Effect

Each moment we experience, is preserved in our thoughts and filed away for future reference. As we walk through life many of us are caught up in the hustle and bustle of our lives. Waking each morning, and going though your to do lists, crossing off things one at a time, we don't realize we aren't really paying attention to the moments that are changing our lives.

Each moment is created for you to get one step closer to your purpose. You need to pay attention to the little things in your life and the effect of those around you.

I spent the weekend with a great friend, which like me notices the most intricate details of thought and action. We both realized that the people we interacted with this weekend, the show we watched and the places we went all pointed us in the same direction.

Lessons

1. Purpose comes in stages, we have to progress in stages and meet people at each stage that will guide us to the next.

2. Surround yourself with people with a similar drive but opposing views will allow you to grow and learn more about yourself as well as what is going on around you.

3. You never know what effect someone will have on you and how it will impact your thoughts and actions.

Remember one thing: take each moment and preserve it and learn from it.

The power of suggestion

There are two kinds of individuals in this world:

• those that are forceful with thought and say that they drown out the chatter of the world, and
• those that use the chatter around them and become forceful.

Each day we head to work, deciding the route we take, what we have for breakfast, who we have coffee with, but how many of your actions do you decide ?

Many argue that they are determined individuals and this rant is for you.

How often are you affected by a suggestion or information? If you say never, you are probably lying to yourselves. We all wonder if the suggestions and thoughts around us affect the very fiber of who we are, and I argue it does. We live in a society where we all want to be excepted, simultaneously, we also want ensure we can control our own personal situations. There is nothing wrong with listening to those around us; some of them might actually have something to contribute. The remainder of those around us are there to plant doubt. Which is a great thing! I am all for doubt, because it give you an 'out' of a situation. You never really wanted that car, or job, or guy because some where in your gut you had doubt and the simple comment from a co-worker reminds you of your own wiriness to make a decision. The world we have on this earth is limited, at least until they produce the real fountain of youth.

We need to be sure that when we make decisions that we can stand by and not let them be corrupted by those around us. Often the simple statement in passing can change your perspective, and perhaps even your life.

So the next time that your buddy in the elevator gives you some quick advice, remember if he is leading you down a path to the cave of doubt, because if he does, you never knew what you wanted to begin with. Doubt only comes when your feet aren't touching the ground.