Issues unresolved

The hardest thing to do is go through life realizing that you have kept your thoughts to yourself to appease others. We all do it, we don’t say things to spare others pain.

But my question is, does it have a real benefit?

• It doesn’t remove pain from the equation, because you are still hurt.
• It doesn’t help sustain a friendship/relationship, it only generates cracks.
• It doesn’t bring your closer together; it actually pushes you further apart.

The benefit only involve one person, you.

• It allows you to feel better, because you were the person that spared your feelings to protect the other person.
• It allows you to maintain control of the situation, instead of addressing your fear or the fear of the change that you could cause.
• It causes you to hold back to protect yourself.
  

One thing we all need to realize is that we can’t hold back. We don’t only harm ourselves, but our relationships and the bonds we have spent time nurturing. When you aren’t honest with those around you, realize that you are consciously making a decision to abandon the bond. You are no longer committed to what the relationship was once built on.

All that is left to ask is, why leave your issue unresolved? Voice your thoughts in some capacity, your heart will hold on and continue to ache. The release will bring you the calm to the unexpected storm.

The Value of Experience

We all have experiences in our lives that leave us with an understanding, it may not be accurate, but it is an impression.

The moments we learn most from are those that stem from disappointment and pain. Those are the moments that allow us to contemplate our actions in this world. 

Moments of pure happiness and jubilation lead to reflection, but do they help us? Not always, they don't always help us evolve as we are suppose to.

Pain and disappointment remind us that we don't have control over much in our lives. We can strive to attain what we think we deserve, but perhaps we aren't entitle to, at least not yet.

The greater plans that do exist for each of us may not be ready yet, or we may not be ready and are forced to face numerous obstacles so that we can better appreciate our eventual destiny.

Everyone must remember that you must take each step and learn from the pain, with that will come a better appreciation for what is to come.

Final good bye to Mr. Assumptions

We all have wonderful days of convincing ourselves that we should have hope and assume that things will work out between two people. I was one of those people, who believed this thought, in my world. Believing that the stars had aligned and lightening had struck all that the same time, placing him in front of me. There he stood the one person that embodied what I wanted or had assumed would finally understand and fill in the gaps that I was missing.

Without him even realizing it, I projected all of my hopes, wishes and assumptions of what I wanted/expected from myself onto him. Projection can be a dangerous thing, especially when you do it to fulfill your own objectives.

Realization had to hit me at some point; his perfection was solely based on my deflection of reality. I assumed he could be what I wanted him to be, assumed that he would want to be what I wanted. Finally, I had hoped that eventually the “realistic” hope I had created for what could be led me to a dead end, standing and wondering how all of my assumptions were just that, assumptions.

I should thank Mr. Assumptions; he made me realize a lot about myself, that hope is just that, hope. Nothing I project or assume can come to fruition if they are only based on silent hope and assumptions. It is hard to say good bye to something you never thought you would, but its time. With time comes a realization, that although your heart can be filled and fooled by the projected love and affection, something we all think we want, I learned a lot over the years.

My silent hopes will stay silent, only my dreams for him will be heard… because at the end of this phase comes peace knowing I am a better person because he walked in to my life and took a seat.

Our history

There is a moment in each life time that is never forgotten and will live on through stories and memories. Today, we all witnessed another, a moment that started with a simple phrases that were the catalyst: ‘I have a dream’ and ‘yes we can’. These words echoed through my mind as I watched from my desk, the first African American, a visible minority take the oath of office. Barak Obama became the first minority to become the president of the United States.

It makes you wonder about whether it is a circumstance that thrusts us into a realm of change or if that is our history that determines our circumstance. We all live our lives, working, going to school and not really wondering what our paths are and where they will lead us. Some argue you can’t help what your history will be, other argue that it is predetermined and you destiny will determine your history.

Regardless of our paths to our eventual history, we like president Obama will face numerous challenges and it will be how we handle those challenges that will really shape our own history and our presence in this world.

The Mess of Perfection

We all have a measure of what we think perfect is. The dictionary’s definition is the quality or state of being perfect or freedom from fault or defect.

Society if anything causes us to form opinions or conceptions of an ‘ideal’. Whether it is an ideal job, house, car or spouse; we all have proto-types that we want things in our lives to adhere to, our perfect.

But there is a clear danger in that, disappointment and disillusionment.
When you assume that you are entitled to a level of perfection, you are bound to be disappointed. Millions walk through life striving for an existence, they deem as ideal, but by no means attainable.

With perfection does not necessarily come happiness. People say, “life would be perfect if I could just win the lottery.” Not realizing that when you win the lottery you think you can buy you perceived level of perfection and please the many you couldn’t before that moment?

People say, “when I meet the perfect guy/girl I will be happy.” But that begs the question, were you even happy to begin with?

What about the highly propagated ‘American Dream”, is that perfection? Having the ability to make something of nothing? Continuously striving for your conceptualize ideal of perfection and then eventually living it. Is that perfection or fate?

Have you considered that perhaps you aren’t meant to be with or attain perfection; because when you are with someone that is perfect, or reach a level of what you consider perfect, you won’t learn anything. If you believe you are meant to be with perfection than consider this fact, that maybe it wasn’t perfection to begin with.

Our conceived notions change as we evolve and when we realize that you will be more aware of what perfection really is.

Fear

The act of being afraid.

Everyone is impacted by fear, trying to ensure each action keeps you far away from it.

What if that fear leads you to your destiny, to where you are suppose to be?

What if the fear of heights takes you to your dream job on the 40th floor, do you say no?

What if the fear of flying takes you to the other end of the world exploring a lush rainforest, do miss the flight?

What if the fear of heartbreak drives you to tell her you can’t live without her, do you avoid the opportunity to tell her you love her?

Fear can debilitate us or drive us. But regardless of its impact it leads to a crossroad, where you have to determine what you want.

Don’t let this be another year of fear, choose to embrace the emotion and realize that it is that very emotion that will drive you to where you are suppose to be.